You are the center of the universe (here’s why that’s not selfish)

What a Buddhist parable taught me about control, suffering, and shaping reality

They told you the world doesn’t revolve around you.

Maybe it was a parent, a teacher, or someone trying to keep you humble. And maybe you believed them.

But what if they were wrong?

What if you are the center of the universe—not in an egotistical way, but in a way that changes everything?

At some point, I realized that I wasn’t just moving through the universe—I was experiencing it. My thoughts, emotions, and perceptions weren’t passive reflections of the world around me. They were shaping it.

For a long time, I’ve considered myself “spiritual but not religious.” That path has led me to many different perspectives, but ultimately, to one undeniable truth: we have far more power over our reality than we’ve been led to believe.

The two arrows (and the choice we often miss)

There was a time when I didn’t have that kind of belief system though. Where I was a victim. I was a victim of the stories I told about myself, my situations or the things in my life I wasn’t happy with. There is a particularly powerful parable I heard just recently that captures this concept beautifully: the parable of the two arrows from Buddhist teachings.

The first arrow represents life's changes, which are inevitable. The second arrow symbolizes our emotional response, which we can work with and temper through mindfulness. Our reactions, our second arrows, are what we hold the power to shape and influence. link

Imagine getting bad news. That’s the first arrow—it stings, but it’s out of your control. Then, the second arrow: the spiral of frustration, self-pity, or resentment. That’s where your power lies—in whether you let it wound you further or pull it out and heal.

I remember getting let go in a new job on the first day. The company made a whole host of redundancies right before I arrived and apparently nobody realized or thought to let me know in advance. I’d left my old job and had, as the primary source of income for our family, a strong need to provide. The first arrow stung - hard. I was angry and frustrated. But I knew I couldn’t let this situation have a second arrow in my life. Instinctively, taking that kind of energy into a job search would prove unhelpful. So I simply accepted the moment and moved on.

It’s still a story I tell but the arrow contains no power now.

If the universe only exists through experience, then we are the center of it

I share this parable because I’m also a strong believer that some part of our shared experience is merely our interpretation of things. Our Universe only exists when we are experiencing it. So, therefore, if we are the only reason the world exists it would also be fair to say that we are actually the center of it. In a way it makes perfect sense.

We are all the center of the Universe all at the exact same time. That revelation and understanding teaches us something profound - if we’re the focal part for the entire thing then we have the ultimate control and power to shift and shape the experience as we see fit.

The world is waiting to be shaped

The world is literally there for us, waiting to be designed and molded. Like a piece of clay we hold in our hands ready to make a fantastic something or other. It isn’t perfect but it is moldable.

There’s a risk though. The risk is that we do so little with this information and understanding. For years we’ve been told that we can’t possibly be that important to think in this way. But I think that’s wrong. And this isn’t some narcissistic viewpoint I’m telling you to hold. This is about understanding how your experience of life comes from you and your interpretation of it. Nothing else.

We spend too much time drowning ourselves in digital dredge, doomscrolling our lives away waiting for something or someone to save us. We are the saviors. We are the ones controlling the outcome even if we don’t get to choose the final destination.

The real question is: What will you do with this?

Knowing this, what story will you tell yourself? One of limitation, or one of power?

Because the world isn’t happening to you. It’s happening through you. And you hold the pen.

So, how will you shape your universe today?